...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
