Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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