You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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