I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
