Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize