Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
