my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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