Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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