I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
