just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
