i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
