physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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