oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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