He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
