I hope mine doesn't look like that
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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