So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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