i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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