I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
