so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hippo gnu deer
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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