We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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