I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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