just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
