What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
