I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
