did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
