What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
