You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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