Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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