I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
