THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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