Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
