WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
