so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
