were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
