don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
