I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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