she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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