dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize