I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
