so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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