Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
