Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
