By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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