Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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