The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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