I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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