So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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