I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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