I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
