So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
