Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
