I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
