How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize