# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize