When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
