Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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