need another drink. this is the easiest way
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
