Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
