So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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