Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
