i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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