Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
