So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize