I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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