Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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