____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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