you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
