how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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