So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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