I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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